I was trying to find the etiquette to announce such things, but I'm not sure there is one. There isn't an obituary topic.

The problem with not writing a diary for a while is that you keep putting off writing a diary because there's just too much stuff to relate and it's a major effort.

Who am I kidding? Like there's really been that much happen since last April...

Or not. Mostly not. Seeing as my last diary was Jan 5th, loads must have happened. Mustn't it? Let's see...

It would appear I have not reviewed any movies since August? Right, I'd better do something about that. Instead of doing some work.

Inside: 16 DVD's.

Meat, bling and be Mary...

Poll: Best thing about Christmas?

There's nothing quite like a funeral to make you re-assess where you are in life. Or so I expected last week when I went to the funeral of a co-worker who had died of a brain tumour.

When Major Midget went and broke her arm at the weekend I got the feeling that the fates were truly realigning against the Dr H0ffm4n apathetic way of life.

Today's page lengthening is brought to you by Music bought since July.

So what has happened in the 2 months since I last diarised?
Cars, schools, hospitals, work, gaming, women.

Poll: When you were 11, how long did it used to take for you to get to school?
        And how did you get there?

[With thanks to B.A.D./BreakerBurst formatting.]

Last night, when packing today's lunch for minor midget (7) I found a cannabis leaf in her lunch box. Should I be concerned?

Got back from Portugal on Tuesday. I need a holiday.

Inside: The Ivy. Telstar. Shakespeare's As You Like It with Sienna Miller. A night in casualty. A week in Portugal. Missed connections. Lost luggage. Double booked rooms.

Poll: Next holiday with the midgets?

It was painful. It was worth it.
And all the time they stuck the knife in
Pulled it up and twist it around

Inside: My ten* desert island discs with some biographical info why.
Write-in: What was the first album you ever owned?

[* Ok, twelve]

So my week of solitude is nearly over. I've left the house precisely twice since Monday evening. Once to go to the corner postbox to post a DVD back to Amazon and once to go to the corner shop to buy cigarettes.

Inside: What is WPKAW up to? Why I won't get married. Dr H went to church. Three more films since Tuesday.